The masks we wear

Since going through a recent transformation of sorts - fueled by intense mental anguish that was the product of two “men” named Brandon Kleinman and Blake Barton screwing me over royally to the tune of my entire life savings and about $300,000 I raised from investors - I can’t help but notice the many masks people wear.

And the few who wear thin ones, myself included.

After going through what I did, I can’t stop noticing the false bravado worn by many men, the false cutes-y attitudes adorned by many women, the fake smiles and the real ones, the Instagram bios and usernames designed to create a sense of status for the creator, and god, they’re just everywhere.

One of the most interesting to me is men who I feel wear muscles as armor, attempt to speak very audaciously at all times, wear many insignias to swoon the ladies and impress their fellow man (or very little to appear not materialistic), and yet crumple into a child when things get serious.

And that’s not an insult – I’m a fellow sufferer, mask maker (and wearer), and appreciator.

But mine are thin now, and life is better. I suggest reading some of my thoughts on fear of perception to give you an idea of what I’m talking about (1, 2).

I think the goal here is to essentially create congruence between your digital self, the versions of yourself you show around others, and your true nature. At least for me, that feels right.

I’ve learned (with much help from one of my closest friends in the world, Hunter Isaacson) that the truth is people crave authenticity.

When you say what’s on your mind (or as I like to say, let your intrusive thoughts run free), you’ll likely find those thoughts deeply resonate with others. I’ll give you a fun example:

Hunter started saying an absolutely “insane” (or as like to say, sane, lol) sentence to people recently who ask him how he’s doing, a daily occurrence for most of the human race:

“I don’t know man, just tryin’ not to have to anxiety.”

Knowing Hunter, I would bet you the first time he said it, it was just actually what was on his mind at the time.

And I would bet he almost never forces that one, and probably says it often because he feels it often, he know it allows you to “go deep, fast”, as I like to say, and it’ll genuinely inspire people to be vulnerable, make them feel less alone and down on themselves, and well, it definitely changes people (I suggest reading up on Girard’d memetic theory).

I think it’s safe to say most masks are not okay to wear for extended periods of time.

Going years pretending to be a macho man, masculine woman, overly feminine woman, etc. - when deep down these are learned, cultural dispositions not rooted in biology or psychology as much as just being yourself, I feel creates intense incongruence between “the voice in your head” (if you have an internal monologue) / your true nature.

I’ve seen a few people thin their masks, and every time it seems like an intensely healthy thing.

For example, I have one friend I’ll leave unnamed who’s a bit older (between 40 and 50), incredibly wealthy, and who somewhat recently changed his Instagram bio from something along the lines of “accomplishment 1, 2, and 3” to something more like “lover of people, nature, and reality, loves giving back, life, and good times” (being purposely vague so as to keep their identity hard to uncover).

I don’t think it’s an accident that over the past few years, they made an amount of money that most couldn’t fathom having. I think when people reach the top of the mountain they’re climbing, they often get there only to reason to the air is thin, their friendships no more fulfilling, and their blood, just the same.

Only they’re much further from rescue then they were before, and suddenly they need to find a way down the mountain, and a beautiful one, too.

P.S. if you want to know what happened between my ex-partners and I, you can read one of the last emails I sent to them and our investors about what happened here, lol